I've been recently reading through the gospel of John again. It's probably my favorite gospel because when I read it I feel so close to Jesus. It was while reading this gospel that I realized that I wanted to know Jesus better...I wanted to not just read about Him and know more about His life, I wanted to know Him and hear Him. Today I was reading in chapter 11 where Jesus called Lazarus out of the grave. What power! He didn't have to shout or carry on and on for hours. He simply spoke and commanded Lazarus to "come forth"! Anyway, I digress...
There is a part in the account where Jesus tells Martha to have the stone rolled away from the entrance to the cave where Lazarus was buried. Martha protests that it was going to smell because Lazarus had already been buried for 4 days. That's when it hit me...do I protest what Jesus wants to do because it might be smelly, uncomfortable, dirty, messy? I love my clean, uncluttered spaces and, I admit, a clean, uncluttered life. But, do I love it so much that I won't give it up for Jesus? He is my Lord, my Savior, my Shepherd. He is the Creator, the Author of Life, the One who speaks and life is restored. Is my "clean, uncluttered" really more important than resurrection, than healing, than deliverance?
Jesus was born into the messy...a messy stable, a dirty manger, a chaotic, evil world. If you read the accounts of His life, you'll see that He didn't go around "cleaning everything up" on the outside to make it a nice, neat little package. He went around getting down into the deepest part of people, making them new from the inside out. He didn't come to "clean us up", at least not on the outside...not by the world's standards. He came to give us life...He came to save, heal, restore, resurrect. And that's way more important than my "clean and uncluttered".
I have to admit that I like to watch the Christmas movies...you know, the ones where there's some kind of Christmas problem that after a couple of hours gets wrapped up tidily in a package with a nice little bow? I realized as I was reading this morning...that's not really life. Everything doesn't get wrapped up in a couple of hours in a nice tidy package with a bow. Am I OK with the messy? Can I get over myself and what I like in order to have Jesus? The answer for me is "yes"!
Jesus, I don't always understand how You are working around me or even in my own life. Sometimes the world seems so chaotic and out of control. But I trust You. I know that You are in control. I believe that You are peace. I believe that You are Lord of all. I exalt You over what I see, what I feel, and what is going on around me. I choose to believe You instead of anything else. Please use me in the midst of the messy. Amen.